Old shoes New shoelaces

So in December while everyone else is done buying and wrapping Christmas presents and they are thinking about their new years resolution I'm still looking for good deals on presents for my son. I cant help that I'm a procrastinator when it comes to things I hate.. I hate shopping, I hate cliche's, I hate that i have to be at my sons school a half hour early to find a good parking spot only to get blocked in right after i pick him up, I hate animal hair on my clothes(a Lil is fine i mean like I'm COVERED), I hate being pestered while I'm working, I hate horror flicks in the dark, but the worst of all my hates IS... New Years Resolution. I cant help it, it's one of those cliche things in life that makes me dread winter time. I like to listen to every-ones idea's for a couple months and make my decision right after Valentines day which just so happens to be right when my taxes come back. My list comes to be about the same every year.

1. stop biting nails
2. lose some weight
3. get vehicle up to date
4. spend more time with son
5. work on trust issues
6. get into Nursing School already
7. quit smoking

My son is so easy to spend time with and it's almost difficult not to when we live in such a small house and he's a total mama's boy.

This year I've actually worked on my nails and was doing good for a few weeks but then my nail ripped and i was at work so i had to bite it off.. no nail clippers, don't judge me.

My truck is mostly up to date with her oil changes, but then i took her to get washed at the new Shotty's Car Wash where the guy ripped my non broken driver side mirror off, so i have to put the new one that i bought with my own money on my truck.

I finally got with some case workers at the unemployment office and even though they cant get me into ADN school they are going to get me into Patient Care Tech which will get me all the pre req's for ADN school so i can use my GI BILL to get my ADN and maybe if i dont procrastinate my BSN.

I cut down on smoking!! yay! dont judge. cut down is better than what i was doing which is a step closer to quitting!

Now.. Losing weight lol. I'm 5'6" and 235lbs. Just a little background info on how it was gained. was 150 when i found out I was pregnant with my son Aric, i gained 80lbs between Preeclampsia and the start of my selfish eating habbits, he was born in 2006. i lost half of my baby weight and was happy. i got pregnant again in 2007 with twins and at 5 months lost both babies, i became depressed and gained 45lbs. so lets do the math.. ok we all suck at it. 235. for a year i was definately in denial. if my jeans didnt fit i sucked in and zipped anyways. then i saw a picture of myself (such a cliche) and i decided that i was definately obese and majorly needed to change my eating habbits, but didnt want to. duh.. procrastinator, did i mention lazy when it comes to dieting and working out. I'm such a pessimist, whenever i look at weight loss commercials and diet pills all i ever see is the bad outcomes. like when they gained it all back. just figured it would be pointless. but. now that i have to buy scrubs in the x's and not the l's or the m's i've come to realize that i'll never look like jackie, meredith or christina unless i work out and try to eat better.
As selfish as this sounds i didnt go to wal mart and buy slimquick drink mixes, the alli starter kit, multi vitamins, a scale and a work out suit because i want my son to learn that he should not copy mommy when it comes to eating habbits. that is a great side effect to losing the weight and learning to change my lifestyle but i'm doing it because i hate the fact that i have jelly rolls that have a mind of their own and when i look at pictures of myself five years ago i pretend like it could never happen. IT CAN. i just have to be optimistic, and people. there isnt an optimistic bone in my big ol body lol. cant help it. pessimistic tendancies are genetic in my family.

anyways. so i took my first dose of slimquick this morning and havent been hungry yet. i cant take the alli pills for another week and happy about that because i have to stop eating fatty foods before then otherwise the pills grab hold to the fat and follow gravity and people the outcome is not pretty.

so *lifting my chalky liquid filled glass* here's to cliche's and blogging!